January always carries a quiet kind of power. It’s not loud or dramatic, it’s steady, intentional, and full of possibility. As I step into 2026, two years post-divorce, I can say this with complete honesty: my life looks nothing like the one I once knew. Not the landscape, not the future I imagined and most importantly, not me.
Divorce didn’t just change my circumstances. It changed me at my core. There were moments when everything felt uncertain, overwhelming, and frightening. I didn’t feel strong. I didn’t feel confident. I didn’t feel brave. What I did feel, however, was a quiet decision forming beneath the fear: I will not give up on myself.
That decision repeated over and over again is what I now call determination.
Determination isn’t loud motivation or constant positivity. It isn’t about believing everything will be easy. Determination is simply the ability to keep going, even when things are difficult. Especially when they are difficult. And the most important thing I’ve learned is this: determination is not something you’re born with, it’s something you build.
I see this so clearly now, both in my own life and in the clients, I coach through divorce and separation. The people who move forward, rebuild, and thrive aren’t necessarily the most confident, educated, or naturally resilient. They’re the ones who decide again and again not to quit.
After my divorce, there were days when my survival brain wanted relief more than growth. It wanted comfort, certainty, and escape from pain. That part of the brain will always exist in all of us. But I learned that growth comes from choosing something deeper: long-term purpose over short-term comfort.
Determination is made in those moments.
It’s choosing to get up when staying in bed would feel easier.
It’s showing up for your children even when your heart feels heavy.
It’s taking one small step forward when you don’t yet see the whole path.
Those choices compound. Quietly. Powerfully.
One of the biggest shifts for me was understanding that life is never going to be “perfect” or free of difficulty. It’s always going to be a balance of joy and challenge. The goal isn’t to eliminate struggle it’s to become the person who knows they can handle it.
And that’s what determination gives you: evidence. Evidence that you can do hard things. Evidence that you don’t abandon yourself when life tests you. Evidence that your future is safe because you are capable.
Today, I am genuinely the happiest and strongest version of myself not because life became easier, but because I became more determined. I trust myself now. I trust my ability to navigate uncertainty. I trust that no matter what comes, I will keep going.
If you are standing at the beginning of 2026 feeling unsure, exhausted, or afraid especially after divorce or separation let me say this clearly: this can be your year too. Not because everything will suddenly fall into place, but because you can decide to stop quitting on yourself.
Determination doesn’t mean never changing direction. It means staying committed to your healing, your growth, and your future even when the path twists.
This year, don’t ask yourself, “Can I do this?”
Ask instead, “Am I willing to keep going?”
Because if you are, everything changes.
And I promise you this: the version of you waiting on the other side of determination is worth every step it takes to get there.
Love
Rachel x